Slump

So yesterday I had a student make the comment that I was happier this week then usual. I thought about it for a minute and realized that I was not the only one to know that I was in a slump or bad mood. First, my morning classes have been pretty good this week but mostly I needed a new direction.

I was in a slump. I feel fat (because I am). No one has even looked at our house. We can't find the house we want. We are having no luck at all getting pregnant. I am searching for a job in Pocatello and am having no luck. The list could go on but these are my top.

I wanted out. I hated feeling like that. So, Arik and I bought a workout thing and it is coming. We will start that as soon as it comes. I have applied to two online schools and am checking everyday the school websites for updating jobs. I realized that I have no control over the rest so I decided there was only thing I could do... Turn it over to the Lord.

First, Arik took me to the temple where I was able to have a good vent. I love going there and the peace it brings me. Then instead of listing all the things I wanted, I asked for peace and help with the things I could control. The rest I turn over to the Lord. It is not an easy process. Every morning I feel like have to turn it over again. There are many tears each morning and then each night thanking Heavenly Father for the wonderful day and the blessings I recieved and the things I have.

It is not an easy thing and it is something I have to do every day. Heavenly Father knows that I sometimes lose sight of the important or what really matters and then things happen to make me "come home." I love and need to be in control and with this I can't. I am grateful that I have the knowledge I have and that I know that I am a daughter of God. He loves me and will help me along. I am never alone.

So, I am taking it a day at a time. Not stressing over having a baby (I heard that it does not help at all), not stressing about the house. We are still suppose to be in Soda and the perfect house will come and we will find it. Each day I turn everything over and He walks beside me helping me along the way.

To my friends and family having trouble with having a baby:
I want you to know that I do not take lightly what you are going through. I don't know how hard it must be for you. You are probably rolling your eyes at this thinking,
Why is she mad she already has two?" I know that. I also am aware every day and month of you. My prayers are for you. I have put your names on the Prayer rolls at the temple. You give me strength and I love you all. You are much stronger than I am. I hope that all of you will have your dreams come true. So please, do not get offended.